Shadows of the Past
by vonnie836
Summary: The team takes a job for friend's of the Patterson family and Gabe starts to behave strangely


Shadows of the Past

Disclaimer: I don't own them, just borrowed them for a little bit of fun. No money is being made with this either

Rating: PG-13/R

Warning: This story has some content that might be disturbing to some readers. There is mention of sexual abuse. It does not contain graphic details.

Summary: Gabe starts to act very much out of character after the team takes on an assignment from some friends of his family.

The Vast Explorer was anchored a few miles off the coast of Scotland for the last 3 days. The yacht of Senator Johnson, a close friend of Gabriel Patterson's family had gone down here during a storm about 2 weeks ago. His father had personally called Judson to request his help. It seemed that there had been some very valuable antics on board which the Senator and his wife had picked up during their vacation in Great Britain. 

Judson and Mac had made several dives but hadn't been able to get to the storage area yet. Too much was blocking their way. The yacht was lying on its side with the top slammed against a reef.  After a difficult dive this morning, they had decided to take a break and continue tomorrow.

 "Darn!" the angry scream came from the engine room. Mackenzie Previn looked up from the magazine she was reading while sunbathing on deck. There had been a lot of problems with the equipment since the operation started.  Lately it had almost become a common occurrence to hear screams and curses coming from wherever Gabe was working. Yet neither she nor Judson had gotten used to it. Again she threw a questioning look in the direction where her friend was sitting.

"I really would like to know what is bugging Gabe lately. This is so not like him."

"I wouldn't worry too much!" Judson tried to calm her, "The engine has been really giving him trouble lately and he just doesn't seem to be able to fix it right! You know how important this salvage operation is to him and he wants to keep the ship going."

"I know, but he seems so obsessed and I just don't like the way he acts. Something just doesn't seem right!"

Judson could see the worried look on her face. Trying to hide his own thoughts, he picked up a can of soda from the cooler and shook it. 

"Hey, you look like you could use a cool down." He smiled as he pointed the can in her direction.

"Oh no, you wouldn't dare!" Mac didn't have time to protectively lift her hands up before the beverage exploded all over her.

"You just wait." She screamed in played anger as she picked up her own soda. 

Before Judson had a chance to turn around and get away, she emptied it over his head. 

She looked at him with satisfaction, "Now we are even!"

Judson smiled, then picked up a towel and carefully wiped the sticky liquid from Mac's face before he started to dry himself off.

"I think I need a shower now!"

As he turned, he saw Gabe standing in front of him. But instead of the crooked grin he would have usually worn his features where strained. Before Judson could say anything he turned around and went back to the engine room.

"What in the world was this all about?" Mac was more worried than before.

"I have no idea, but I sure will find out. Let's get cleaned up and talk to him!" Judson was determined to find out was going on with the youngest member of his team.

+++++

Judson and Mac never got the chance to question Gabe. After they had showered and came back on deck, Gabe was already waiting for them.

"I need to go to shore. There are a few parts for the engine that have to be replaced."

"Can't it wait until tomorrow, we really need to talk!" Judson questioned.

"Tomorrow you need me on board so you two can make the dives and if the parts don't get replaced soon, the whole ship might blow up!"

Also he really didn't want to put their talk off any longer; Judson had to agree with him. Reluctantly he let him go.

"I will be back early in the morning!" Gabe called back as he started the motor of the Zodiac.

+++++

It was 10 AM the next day before Gabe returned back on board. His friends had tried to reach him per cell phone but had gotten no response. Judson had been ready to take the Vast Explorer into the harbor when he finally spotted the Zodiac.

As Gabe climbed on deck and tried to walk past him, Judson held him back.

"We were worried about you, what happened!"

"Guess I overslept!" the younger man tried to get away but found his friend holding on to his arm. 

He threw him an angry look, "I really need to get these parts replaced!"

Judson noticed the redness around his eyes and the haggardness of his features. Glancing at Mac, he could tell she also had seen it and had come to the same conclusion – he had been drinking.

"Gabe, we really need to talk. What is going on, you just have not been yourself lately!"

Judson never expected the reaction he received. Gabe's eyes threw bolts of lighting at him. His voice was filled with anger.

"I am fine, if you don't like how I act just say so, I can leave any time! Now can I go back to work or do you want me to pack my things?"

He tore himself from Judson's grip and walked away, leaving his friends in total confusion.

+++++

Gabe avoided his friends the rest of the morning. Due to it being so late, they had decided to wait with their first dive until early afternoon. Until then he buried himself in the engine room, keeping the door closed and the radio on full power.

After lunch Mac and Judson made two dives.  The water was quiet and they succeeded in getting to the storage room and retrieving several of the smaller boxes. They spent the rest of the afternoon unpacking the boxes and cleaning the items which had turned out to be several bronze statues that were probably about 200 years old. 

Again Gabe purposely avoided them. This time by insisting he needed to check the diving gear and make some repairs on the camera. 

Mac was assisting Judson in wrapping one of the statues and packing it into one of the boxes that they had brought for this purpose. They had been working quietly, both feeling to helpless to know what to say.

Finally Mac broke the silence, "We have to talk to him, I don't really care if he wants to or not. Something is very wrong."

"I know you are right." Judson agreed, "But I'm not sure that we should push him?"

"So what do you suggest, just let him go on like this? I have never seen him like this; this is not the Gabe I know!" Her voice was full of anger and passion.

"Look, Gabe knows we are his friends and that we want to help him. I'm sure he eventually will come to us for help. Pushing him might make him run and I don't think that would accomplish anything!"

Mac was too much a person of action to agree with him but decided to go along with him, at least for right now. She had learned that her own hotheadedness at times needed his cool and laid back wisdom. 

+++++

It had been Gabe's turn to cook supper. Mac and Judson had heard him set the table and they could smell the food. The table was already set and as they sat down, Mac thought she saw a little smile on Gabe's face.  He served the food then sat down with them. 

During the meal Judson casually mentioned that he had gotten a message from Senator Johnson. "He and his wife are planning to visit us tomorrow."

"What, is he not happy with our progress?" Mac's voice showed her irritation.

"No, he assured me that was not the reason. He said they were on there way to England and decided they wanted to see Gabe!" Judson calmed her worries.

During there conversation none of them had noticed that Gabe had stopped eating. His face was pale and his fork dropped out of his hand. The sound it made as it hit the plate alerted them. 

"You're alright?" Judson questioned.

Gabe almost jumped out of his chair, "Yeah, I'm fine, just tired, I think I just turn in early!"

He just turned, headed down the hall and disappeared into his cabin. Mac was ready to follow him but was stopped by Judson's look.

"Hey, maybe he really just needs a good night sleep; I bet he still has a hangover from last night!"

They finished their meal, then cleaned up the kitchen together. As Judson sat down to make some entries into the ship's journal, Mac couldn't' contain herself any longer, she headed for Gabe's cabin. Deciding not to bother with knocking, she quietly opened the door and entered.

She found Gabe in bed with his back to her. He appeared to be sleeping. And also she had been determined to talk to him, now she just didn't have the heart to disturb his rest. Instinctively she pulled the blanket up over him and lightly tousled his hair. Maybe he really just needed a good nights sleep.

 If she would have known that her friend wasn't really asleep and if she could have seen the tears in his eyes as he felt her gentle touch, she would have not let go until she would have found out the truth. But this way,  she just quietly left the room, leaving Gabe lost in memories. Memories he had thought he had buried deep enough to never come back. Now he realized he had been wrong. As the shadows of the past reached for him, he could feel himself spiral deeper and deeper into an abyss; he might never be able to get out of.

+++++

The next morning found the team busy. While Mac and Judson where on another dive, Gabe monitored the camera and computer. His friends had noticed the indications of a sleepless night but had received no explanation other than a mild headache had kept him awake.

Mac had attempted to probe deeper but had finally given up when she saw the look on his face. His eyes told her more than words that he was not ready to reveal what pained him. 

It was almost noon when Mac and Judson had finished their dive and cleaned up. They were just coming back on deck when a smaller boat pulled up beside the Vast Explorer. It turned out to be the boat Senator Johnson had rented. As he and his wife entered the ship, Mac let her eyes judge what she saw. 

The Senator was a tall, distinguished looking man in his mid sixties. His hair was short and still almost black with only little gray mixed in. His smile was polite but somehow appeared like it was frozen on his face. Mac had seen it on other politicians before. It was just there to please the crowds. 

His wife was very likely in her early fifties but could have passed for 10 years younger. She obviously spent a lot of time in the gym and also must have had some plastic surgery. Her tanned skin was without a single line. Her hair was cut in one of the new half length styles and made her look even younger. Her cloths were appropriate for a politician's wife, yet there was something in the way she wore them that made them look provocative. At first sight her smile was appealing but there was just something about her that made Mac instantly dislike her. She couldn't put her finger on it but she was determined she would find out. 

The Senator reached out to shake Judson's hand, another gesture Mac judged as routine rather than honest.

"Mr. Cross, so nice to meet you, I can't tell you how glad I am you agreed to retrieve our 'lost treasures'."

He continued to smile as he turned to Mac "Miss Previn, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ignore you. Certainly, I want to thank you also!"

He laid his hand on his wife's arm and continued, "This is my lovely wife Gloria!"

"Hello, it is so wonderful to meet Gabe's friends!" she put her brightest smile on before she continued, "Which reminds me, where is Gabe?"

"He is downstairs working, I can get him." Judson offered.

"Oh, don't bother, we will just go down to see him, you lead the way."

Judson threw Mac a concerned look. He also wasn't too impressed with the way their guests acted.

+++++

Gabe was still working on the computer when he heard the door open. He glanced up. Seeing the Johnson's, he jumped out of his chair, he had expected them but not this soon. Judson could see his face turning even paler than before.

Gloria Johnson almost ran over to him and wrapped her arms around him. When she finally let him go, she still held his hands.

"Gabe, it is so good to see you, how long has it been, let me think! Oh, it had to be at least 12 years."

Ignoring the look on his face, she continued to ramble on. 

Mac was disturbed by Gabe's appearance. He now seemed like he was ready to pass out at any moment. The expression on his face was frozen, but it was the terror in his eyes that really scared her.

Her gut feeling told her to just go over, drag this woman upstairs and throw her over board. Yet before she could follow her instincts, she felt Judson's hand on her shoulder. Exchanging glances with him, she could tell he was just as worried but told her he would handle it for now.

"Why don't we give you a tour of the ship now?" He turned to his friend, "Mac, why don't you take care of Mrs. Johnson and I take the Senator. Gabe needs to finish up here, he can join us later!"

They could see Mrs. Johnson was very reluctant to let go of Gabe but finally did to keep up appearances. 

As they left the room, Mac could see Gabe slump down in his chair like a rag doll. It took all her strength not to go back. All she wanted to do was protect him from whatever it was that terrified him. And having seen the way Gloria Johnson acted, a terrifying thought started to creep up in her. Yet even for her experience this was too horrible to allow it to be true.

+++++

It took them about a half hour to finish the tour of the ship. Just as they came back on deck they could hear a motor being started. Gabe had taken the Zodiac and now was taking off in direction of the shore.

Mac tried to call him back but again Judson stopped him. "Let him go, I don't think he would listen to you right now anyway. We will go after him."

He turned to the Senator, "I have no idea what is going on here, but why don't we get the boxes we got ready for you and then you can get back to shore. I would be thankful if you would give us a ride so I don't have to take the Vast Explorer into the harbor."

+++++

An hour later Mac and Judson were combing the harbor village for Gabe. They had found the Zodiac on the beach not too far from the harbor. The footsteps in the sand had pointed towards the village. They were quiet, just occasionally exchanged glances that showed their worries. 

After searching every shop and pub they were getting very discouraged. It seemed like Gabe had just disappeared without a trace.

"Where in the world could he have gone?" Judson was starting to loose his cool. Maybe he should have interfered earlier and not waited until his friend would open up on his own. 

Mac could almost read his self doubts in his eyes but before she could say anything they were interrupted by a older woman walking up to them.

"You are the strangers from the ship out there?" She pointed in direction of the Vast Explorer.

"Yes, we are!" Judson replied.

"If you are looking for your friend, I might be able to help. You know, I met him a few days ago; he helped me after my bike had a flat. He pushed it home for me and fixed. Such a nice young man, don't find this very much anymore with the kids today." 

She was ready to go on but Mac impatiently interrupted her, "Ma'am, you said you saw Gabe?"

"Oh, yes, that's what I said young lady, He was headed towards the cliffs on the other side of town. Kind of worried me, he had a bottle of whiskey in his hand and seemed sort of distressed. I even called after him but he just walked on. You know my old legs can't really run that fast anymore!" she added with a sad look on her face.

"Thank you Ma'am, I'm sure we are going to find him now!" Judson thanked her while he started to follow Mac, who was already running down the street.

+++++

The rugged terrain of the cliffs made their worried grow even bigger. If Gabe had been drinking, it wouldn't take much for him to stumble and fall off. Judson had trouble keeping up with Mac, who was driven by the fear for her friend. 

When she finally spotted him she stopped so abruptly that Judson almost ran into her. Walking around her he could see Gabe sitting on the ground, his back against a rock. He seemed uninjured but there where tears running down his face. The bottle he was holding in his hand was empty.

Judson exchanged a relieved look with Mac before they headed to their friend and kneeled down beside him. Mac was surprised when she realized that the smell of alcohol didn't come from the young man but from the ground beside him. She took the bottle out of his hand and gave him a questioning look.

"I wanted to, but it didn't make it better the last time, so I just poured it out!" he explained. "Nothing will ever make it go away!"

The hopelessness in their friend's voice shook both of them to the deepest core. Never before had they seen him so lost.

"Gabe, what is going on?" Mac's voice had a gentleness to it that even surprised Judson, "Please talk to us, we want to help you!"

"How can I? You are going to hate me if you find out what happened." Tears where still running freely down his face. As he continued, his voice was filled with unbearable pain, "I can't risk loosing you because you are the only real family I ever had!"

There was a moment of intense silence before Judson took over.

"Gabe, you are right with one thing, we are family. And real families don't hate one another no matter what one of them has done. And I doubt there is anything you have done that could make us go away."

He paused for a moment and looked at Gabe. Realizing, he hadn't convinced him yet so he continued, "Look, I am not going to stand here and watch a member of my team destroy himself. At least give us a chance, don't just throw our friendship away."

Mac had been listened silently and as she watched the expression on Gabe's face change, she could tell that Judson had finally gotten through to him. She gave him an encouraging look but continued to stay quiet.

+++++

It seemed like hours before he started to speak. At first the words came out with hesitation but as he went on they started to flow like a river going towards the sea.

"The Johnson's used to have a son, Edward. We grew up together; he was only about 6 month older than I was. Our parents were friends and they didn't want as to play with 'regular' kids. All we had was each other but that was okay because Eddy was a great guy, always up to fun. We got in a lot of trouble together."

He paused for a moment, a grin crossing his face as he remembered his friend. As he went on, the grin disappeared again.

"Three days after my 10th birthday Eddy committed suicide, he took his father's gun and shot his brain out! His parents weren't home. It was me who found him."

Mac and Judson gasped; they could hardly imagine what it had to have been like for a 10 year old Gabe to find his friend like this.

"There was an investigation, but being an influential man, Senator Johnson was able to keep it quiet. He convinced the press to report it as an accident rather than a suicide. The strange thing was, Eddy was always easy going, we shared everything until about a year before he died. He started to change, pull away and got kinda quiet. We still spent time together but things were different."

Gabe took a deep breath. The expression on his face told his friends that the worst was yet to come.   
  
It took him a few minutes before he was ready to go on, "Mrs. Johnson seemed heartbroken, she seemed to isolate herself from everyone. About a month after Eddy died, my mother told me, Gloria had called and asked if I would come over. I was sort of scared to go back to the house where I had found Eddy but I finally did. She was very nice and told me it would make her feel better if I would spend time with her. So I did. Every day after school I went their and we had cookies and milk and talked. You know, I started to feel better too, being able to spend time with Eddy's mother and talk about him, remember all the fun we had!"

Again he stopped for a moment to look at his friends. Recognizing the support in their eyes, he continued.

"This went on for about six month, then she suddenly started to change. She would hug me and touch me. When I told her I didn't like her, she just said I was like Eddy to her and he had liked it. So I let her."

Now there were tears in his eyes again and running down his cheeks. His voice almost broke when he said, "She didn't stop with this she went all the way, again and again, for weeks. I begged her to stop, I cried and pleaded but she just laughed. She told me to all kids liked it and if I would tell anyone I would get punished."

Mac had started to feel like she needed to scream. The image of a small boy begging for mercy was dancing in front of her eyes. It was more than she could bear. But now, instead of releasing her anger, she gently wrapped her arms around Gabe.

"It wasn't your fault, you were just a little boy, she was the grown up, she had all the power!" She could feel the wetness of his tears against her cheek as she held him close, wishing she could take his pain away.

Judson was also at a point where he could hardly detain his anger. He could feel the rage building up in him. This was worse than anything he could have imagined. Yet a terrible thought crossed his mind and wouldn't let go until he finally had to give it voice, "Did you ever tell your parents?"

He lifted his head and pushed Mac away. Even though she felt the need to hold on to him and protect him, she could see he needed space to breath.

His answer came with reluctance, "I tied, at first they didn't believe me but later my father had a talk with Senator Johnson. I never found out what was discussed, they just moved away to the other side of town. My father told me Mrs. Johnson was very ill and couldn't help herself. He said I needed to grow up and deal with it. I overheard my mother begging him to let me have therapy but he just told her off. Said it, would ruin his career if anything would become public."

He swallowed hard before he continued, "My parents continued to be friends with the Johnson's and I kept my distance, tried to never be alone with Mrs. Johnson. Two years later I left for boarding school and I hadn't seen them since."

For the first time Gabe looked at his friends for longer than just a moment. He could read their anger and rage but he also could see their compassion and understanding for him. The feeling of despair and hopelessness started to melt away and was slowly replaced with a sense of belonging. And gradually it became clear, that he should have known all along.

"I'm sorry, I should have trusted you!" It was more a whisper than anything else but to his friends it meant that they he started to come back. "I never really dealt with it, I just buried it as deep as I could, tried to forget until it finally came back to haunt me again."

Again Mac and Judson exchanged glances. What Gabe had just told them made both of them boil over with emotions. The pain they felt made them have the need to grab both the Senator and his wife and let them experience first hand what it meant to hurt their best friend. Yet, the vulnerability that showed on the face of the youngest member of their team told them, it would do even more damage to him. 

Judson was the first one to finally speak up, "Gabe, we are your family and we will never let you down. This is a promise! Whatever happened in the past, we are here for you and we will try to help. Whatever it takes!"

 His eyes were serious but Gabe could also see something in them, he had never seen before. It was love for a younger brother, the resolve to stand up and give his life if it had to be. And as his eyes moved over to meet Mac's he saw the same in hers. 

++++++

Upon return to the village, Judson had decided to stay in a small bed and breakfast over night. Gabe felt the letdown from the last few days. He was so exhausted that Judson had to help him get undressed. He was asleep before he hit the pillow. Judson covered him with a smile on his face. It was good to see his friend sleep. 

He spent most of the night in the bordering room, talking with Mac about how to handle the situation. This time they let their emotions run wild. Both of them contemplated all the ways they wanted to torture and kill the Johnson's. Knowing that in the end they wouldn't do act on any of their murderous intents, yet making them release their rage and anger.

 The first light of day was already invading the room when they finally were able to calm down.

"One of us has to let them know, that we are aware of what they have done to Gabe!" Mac said, then continued before Judson could interrupt her, "I think it should be you, knowing myself, I wouldn't be able to keep my cool!"

"No, it should be me!" The voice coming from the door was steady and determined. Neither one had heard the door open as Gabe slipped into the room.

"For years I blamed myself but you made me realize I was just a small boy, the Johnson's and my parents are the ones to blame. I need to tell them myself!"

"Are you sure?" Mac and Judson spoke with one voice.

"Yes, but I sure would appreciate some back up!" Gabe confessed.

"We will be right there, watching your back!" Mac assured him.

+++++

It was mid morning by the time the team met with the Johnson's. It was written on their faces that they knew what to expect and where ready to defend themselves. Yet what they didn't expect was that Gabe would take the lead.

It took him a moment but when he started, his voice was collected and without hesitation, "I don't think I need to recount what you did to me. There is no doubt in my mind that you remember." He then looked directly at Mrs. Johnson, "And from what I could tell by your greeting yesterday, you would like to continue what you started almost 15 years ago. But you forgot two things, I am no longer a little boy and now I have a family that backs me up. So you better get out of here and leave me alone before I go public. I am sure the press would love to get a hold of this. Your husband's political career would be over." 

He turned back to the Senator, "We are going to retrieve your precious antics and have them sent to you. You will get the bill as soon as we are done. After that the only time I want to hear about you is in the news. And you better take me serious, I will go to the press!" 

Without another word he turned and left. The Johnson's had been caught by surprise and for the first time they didn't know what to say. Mac and Judson knew everything had been said and followed their friend.

They found him sitting on a bench in front of the building. He looked spend and they could see tears in his eyes. But there was also a newfound confidence in them.

Judson laid his hand on his shoulder, "You did great in there, I really have to admire you for staying so calm. I sure felt like polishing the Senators face and I could see Mac felt the same way. But I think you hurt them more than we ever could have."

A grin appeared on Gabe's face and for the first time it even touched his eyes, "I sure would have loved to see you two take the Johnson's on, especially Mac ruining Gloria's surgically enhanced beauty."

Mac and Judson laughed; they knew it would be a tough time for their friend but the healing had already started. They where ready to help him through all ups and downs. And as Gabe meet their eyes, he started to feel the security they where giving him.

Again he smiled as he reached for their hands, "Thanks guys, you really showed me what it means to belong to a real family!"

The End

"All for one and one for all!" Alexandre Dumas


End file.
